Friday, October 2, 2009

Gandi's Bithday But Some Special

Gandhi Had Bad Breath and enjoyed Enemas

A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization.
Ghandi replied, ”I think it would be a good idea.”

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A few hours have passed since October 2nd, Gandhi Jayanti, and now his candles have all been blown out and the birthday boy is a snoozing ghost hovering somewhere up above India Gate preparing to be reincarnated as something new, its time to whip out a few Gandhi jokes…he was, after all, well known for his sense of humour, as well as his bad breath, and helped anorexics everywhere find self esteem by helping them use their talents in hunger strikes. He was actually a pretty weird guy and since we all blame our parents for the various pathologies we inherit, lets remind ourselves of this very odd person who helped make India the proud, pathological nation it is today.

and to celebrate his birthday tastefully why not purchase a plush Bapu Beanie Baby for

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Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard. He was also a spiritual person, and even when he was not on a hunger strike he did not eat much and thus he became quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he wound up with very bad breath. This explains why he became known as a “super calloused fragile mystic vexed with halitosis.”


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Here are some little known facts about the father of the nation.

(1) He had a set of false teeth, which he carried in a fold of his loin cloth. He put them in his mouth only when he wanted to eat. After his meal, he took them out, washed them and put them back in his loin cloth again.

(2) Mahatma Gandhi spoke English with an Irish accent, for one of his first teachers was an Irishman.

(3) During the freedom struggle, he wore nothing but a loin cloth , but for years he lived in London and used to wear a silk hat and spats and carried a cane.

(4) He was educated at London University and became an attorney. But the first time he attempted to make a speech in court, his knees trembled, and he was so frightened that he had to sit down in confusion and defeat.

(5) Mahatma Gandhi experimented with diets to see how cheaply he could live and remain healthy. He started living principally on fruit and goats’ milk and olive oil.

6) Gandhi’s pretty teenage girl followers used to fight “hysterically” for the honor of sleeping naked with the Mahatma and cuddling the nude septuagenarian in their arms. (Gandhi was “testing” his vow of chastity in order to gain moral strength for his mighty struggle with Jinnah.) When told there was a man named Freud who said that, despite his declared intention, Gandhi might actually be *enjoying* the caresses of the naked girls, Gandhi continued, unperturbed.

7) his daily greeting was, “Have you had a good bowel movement this morning, sisters?” And he used to participate in giving all the girls in his ashram enemas and they gave him enemas in return.


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